Posted by: juveniliare | September 15, 2010

*Hyperventilating* of Deicide 20/21

Click here to immense with my love:


Oh dear lord….

Ye Dear Kami-sama, ICHIGO IZ BACK!!

And yes, that is indeed Ichigo fighting a deformed Aizen with his ultra masochist face ever so calmly.I bet he wont even sweat a drop after this battle of the STUDNESS!!


With mere bare hand he blocked Aizen’s strike. I wonder what else he can do with those ‘magic fingers’ of his :3

See those confused -OMFG- look on Aizen’s face? Bet even his momma never saw that look!


I’m freezing beneath zero now.

Nothing more eh?

Lets compare the future popularity poll and you’ll be somewhere sub zero.

Side’s Ichigo doesn’t need to be extremely fast to be loved by fangurl *fangurl screamo*

trivial to Hearts Desire an awesome fanfiction. In which the author took liberty to post Ichigo as the 14th squad taicho, ‘eloped’ with Rukia who was betrothed to Aizen in a scene of espionage and battle.

In the link provided (chptr 13) was the chpater where Rukia spelled Kurohitsugi to Aizen in order to run free from his pursue.


Hands down, he’s cool..

OO… Strike one against Aizen’ pretty face.

Cant wait till the dude faulted!!

(Page Break)

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Click here to go crazy with me


Ya mean “Castration”?

Though we know Ichigo was a dire fan of Shakespeare, doesnt this scene somehow reminds you of Midsummer Nights Dream?

If Aizen is Titania (proves that he’s a gay), Ichigo will be Oberon. He’ll jinx him to love a donkey. And all Bleach fan will WTF KT-sama.

Oh no!

Ichigo, injure MY BODY!

Aizen’s failed attempt to cosplay as Cyclop.

Either the tails behind Aizen-Hollow- is a personification of Naruto’s Kyuubi, Menos Grandes, or the Fallen Exorcise Suman in D.Gray Man.

It’s a bit too close for comfort, I guess?

Yeah.. That looks like the Fallen Suman from D.Gray man A Lot.

extra notes on the bags under Ichigo’s eyes. He looks bored *yawn*

‘nother note on Aizen’s long distance shot. Kinda reminds you to the monster in Fade To Black? The Serpent winged like monster?


Sore loser..

Yes. Aizen new transformation looks exactly like the monster in FTB.

STUD! *nose bleed t death*


Dont tell me that looks like Tyki Myki’s crazed NOAH form in D.Gray man!!

Zhit. Look at those eyes. The muscle!



*instant death of too much fangurl screamo*


Before I ended this post, I would like to thank Mangstream and WordPress for being an awesome destination in the internet world.

Posted by: juveniliare | September 5, 2010

ZOMFG. Bleach 418

Oh yeah bby, either Mangastream is being a tota b!tch, or the computer I’m currentl yworking with is a total ana! I couldnt upload nor download any pics from MS.

I rather opt the computer’s fault though..

Have you read Bleach 418?

No scratch that stupid sentence, You GOTTA read Bleach 418.

The chapter opens with version of Ichigo-Stud, somehow bearing the aura of TYL’ness we’re so familiar with KHR. Long hair, taller, hunkier, Ichigo ever so awesomely -drools- showed up after all hope were lost. Right in time for Gin’s curtain drop and Rangiku’s tears of pleading for an encore.

At this point, everything seemed almost normal. Saved fro the cliché and god forsaken trivialness that almost made me puke. I mean, like come on!! Showing up at the very last miniscule moment and saved the day while looking like nothing have touched you! You gotta be kidding me KT-sensei!!

And then, a small monologue from Gin claiming his contentment on leaving the rest of the dirty slaying job of beating the freakin pulp of Aizen to Ichigo.

Gin: “Those eyes, those strong eyes.. I can leave and entrust this to you..”

Okay… Abnormal radar spiking up abnormally. And no, it ain’t the GinIchi radar vibrating. YametteGaOshiriIttai guys can go screw their self back in their closet.

Ichigo : *glancing to Aizen* let’s change our location, I don’t want to fight here

Aizen : … Do not fear, you cannot possibly do any damage to—–

*Ichigo hand palmed Aizen’s face, yes reader. Palming AIZEN’s freakin FACE. And shunpoed a long distance with mere brute force to somewhere safe, leaving a gaga-ed AIzen*

Ichigo :Let’s begin Aizen. I’ll end this in a single instant.


(I think I can hear fanfic author typing like crazy over the sudden plot bunny)

Lets get this straight. Ichigo-STUD-Kurosaki, after finishing his training in that place and spending some 200 years (compress it into some hours, give or take..) , become the youngest-slash-oldest(?) strongest, hunkiest Shinigami ever? Oh yeah.. I think I like that, but theeeennnn…..!!

Then again, I couldn’t stop screaming and jumping from my shoes and screaming, “ZOMFG, its so DRAGON BALL!!”

There are plenty episodes where Songoku, Gohan, Gotten and other freakin saiyan characters who showed up just like that.

GYAA!! The world is collapsing, evil bad guy-insert name here- is gaining power! What should we do!! –insert main character here- is away for a super special training, and nobody can beat the bad guy!!

-insert main character name here- showed up dramatically and gazed on everybody with a newly found wisdom stare. Everybody was cheering in the background and totally gobsmacked by the sudden change of – insert main character name here-.

-insert main character name here- “-insert evil bad guy name here- lets change place, I don’t want to fight here and harm the others”

Bad guy laughed, and retaliated with something funny and stupid before main character punch/kick/head palmed the bad guy out of everybody’s sight like 10 miles away. Supppaaaa ~~~~


And, no I don’t remember the exact episode where this shenanigans happened in DB. Bu it did happened, and I’m so freakin sure about it. Somewhere in the Planet Namec ark I think? And on the Vegeta freaky hair ark too..

But the point is…

HMF, this is so cliché, and I love ittt!!

Ichigo-STUD- is awesome. Have I told you I have soft spot on tall, lanky, temperamental, strong characters like Ichigo?

His sudden appearance will leverage his popularity chart and boost the star outta the roof. Who could resist that look! That hair touching the base of his neck. The chain wrapping his arm. That black cape!

*juju went for an instant cardiac arrest and cudnt continue the post*

Posted by: juveniliare | August 27, 2010


The living nightmare for every otaku has descend to earth!!

Onemanga is closed for (no)good!!!

“There is an end to everything, to good things as well.””

Oh yeah bby! Onemanga is alike the ersatz angel touching the hands of humankind. How should I update my Bleach, Fairy Tale, Bakuman, Pandora Hearts manga!! There’s always mangastream, but then again. Onemanga is the ‘mother’. Like Empress Seth Augusta in Trinity Blood. Sh!t, I havent read Trinity Blood since volume 10..

In dire need! Replacement of onemanga. Or many free mangscan enjoyer will prolly commit suicide in front of Hakushensa and Jump office in Japan! Not like I could even afford the plane trip to Japan..

So.. the classic debate about publisher vs author vs imbecile scanlator and us (mangasan enjoyer).

A small discussion in Bleachness livejournal once review Kubo Tite’s tweets and it rather implied that he… enjoys that kids like us from over seas also enjoy his work (duh!) and didnt give any bad response regarding the scanlator and mangascan sites. The question for author would be, whats the main priority?

To spread your love (manga) for good and love to people or money making job (read: publisher, royalty, buy comic books in its respected places, etc). We reader have no position in this, ‘xcep read, enjoy and buy.

Oh dear.. I’m rambling and tossing my grammar orders out side the airplane to Japan‘s window.

Posted by: juveniliare | August 27, 2010

essere casuale è pericoloso

Baby doushitai? soujuu
handoru gyutto nigitte mou STANDBY
(Do you) want my heart & want my love?
NO!? nmou! SWING shite KISS!

Yang bilamana ditranslatekan akan menjadi…

Baby, what do you want to do? I’m driving.
My hands are on the handle bars and I’m standing by.
(Do you) want my heart & want my love?
NO!? Forget that, let’s swing and KISS!

Ah yaa… lagu yang agak mengerikan yang dinyanyikan sheryl nome dari macross frontier

Kyaaa!! I just could never resist those super eye lashes!!

Gila aja ni May’n. Kok bisa bisanya suaranya begitu evangelic? Well yeah, kalau dibandingkan dengan suara Rankaa Lee (Megumi Nakajima) yang agak agak nyempreng.. bisa nangis para fans May’n-chan.  h oh okok.. mungkin sebelum aku mulai ber blog-bunnies, harusnya perkenalan dulu ya? Walaupun extremely trivial tapi harus ya? Lol.. bicara tentang extreme, bagaiman tidak ingat dengan Sasagawa Ryohei-senpai dari KHR?

Aha.. dan kalau bicara tentang Katekyo Hitman Reborn, tidak mungkin bisa lepas dari pairings kita tercinta 6918!!

Sh!t, I mean 9618!!

Ah ya… Damn they’re so cute together. Walaupun jujur aku tidak keberatan sama sekali dengan 189669. Bayangkan saja ceritanya kalau ada Hibari, Chrome dan Mukuro-sama dalam satu ruangan yang sama. Kufufufu~~~ pervy brains on the move ❤

Lol.. seandainya ada fanfic tentang mereka bertiga. Something about unrequited love, painful memories dan beberapa adegan emo yang membuat fan gurl menggila. Tiba tiba teringat seorang legenda hidup yang memang ‘legenda’

oh okok.. Sudahlah lupakan saja si desainer yang suka ngasal ngasallan tapi luar biasa ini. ANd ah yes.. She’s currently a bit into babies and their wonderful wonders ❤

Talking about babies..

Memang sih ya, the peak of one’s imaginary pairings love will be when they have babies of their own. Lihat saja di dunia fanfic dan bagi cerita yang agak lebih -ehem-dewasa- fanfic akan berakhir happy ending dimana mereka akan punya anak yang kalau engga twins, laki-perempuan beda dikit umurnya. Extremely cliche. But enjoyable to the very least.

Why babies though? Cuz it’s the symbol of love I guess. Seperti yang banyak terjadi pada broken-house. Biasanya orangtua yang masih bertahan walaupun si suami udah sering main ‘sorong ke kiri dan kanan’ adalah karena anaknya. Relationship between a woman to male, and to their children is different. Way different. Tapi tidak juga membuktikan keberadaan kasus dimana anak di abuse baik mentally or psychology.

Hmm hmm.. BTW, ni post sebenarnya dibuat di blogspotku. Dan iseng iseng ku taruh di sini. Dan entah decoding font wrapnya blogspot emang rusak atau punyaku aja yang tidak bisa me justifikasi kanan kiri secara otomatis? Jadinya tulisannya kabur kabur tanpa batas kanan dan kiri. Harus di kira kira kapan membuat baris baru di sini. Jaelah.. Tau gini mending sama WordPress aja.. WP for president!! *dibacok massa blogspot-ers*

Posted by: juveniliare | August 22, 2010

Musical Muse and Stuff to Think About

Musical Muse and Stuff to Think About

“Just stand there and watch me burnt,

That’s all right, because I like it how it hurts”

I Like the Way You Lied, Rihanna feat Eminem.

Over the time, we grow wise and we learnt to keep our temper in a steady checkup. It isn’t good to explode like a hot air balloon over the small discouraging statement thrown to you. So we locked our emotion in a glass. But never knowing that the glass bottle itself is fragile in build. So sometimes, the bottle spills, or even worse, it cracked. Like Pandora’s Box, misfortune flew from it, leaving a glimmering hope at the very bottom of the box. Like our bottle, emotion on rage pouring in a never ending rush. Leaving a trail of regret and hurt at the very end.


“Can we pretend that airplanes in night sky are like shooting star?

I could really use a wish right now, wish right now.”

Airplanes, B.o.b. feat Hayley Williams from Paramore

So we wish upon a star, bright twinkle stars in the majestic night sky. Beautiful stars hanging in the sky, alike a colossal mosaic the god drew in his spare time. But stars are suns. Far away suns shining brightly with their light. The farther, the bigger, the most gleaming ones are the best. But when the time calls for it, they will grow bigger. And much paler, and they will explode. Because everything eventually must die. But it is also known that the death of a star is a sight to beheld.


“I won’t tell you that I love you

Kiss or hug you cuz’ I’m bluffing

I’m not lying

I’m just stunning with my love-glue-gunning”

Poker Face, Lady Gaga

A golden band on one’s ring finger doesn’t always mean that a certain promise will be held till the end. A gigantic glittering stone on one’s wedding ring doesn’t always signified happiness of the beholder. Words are meaningless when you didn’t mean it. It deteriorated with time and the character of the person itself. So stop crying over spilled milk, get those flares of yours blazing again. And you’ll be stunned with yourself with just how strong you turn out to be.


“I’m going where the sun keeps shining
Thru’ the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes”

Everybody’s Talkin, from Forest Gump Movie

Live is short. Pack your bag and drive to where the sun never dies and tan your skin till it’s a healthy brown-ish color. It’s not about how life deal with you, but it’s about how you deal with the life. No regrets, because everything that you did up to this point is from your very own decision. You saw that cute blue jacket on its last day of discount day. Grab your wallet and get going, no time to loose. Its time for some little investment…


“I want your ugly, I want your disease

I want your everything as long as it free”

Bad Romance, Lady Gaga

Economically speaking, love is expensive. When you’re not in love, you don’t need to pay for an extra dish, or an extra movie ticket, or blinding bills for your cell phone credit. When you’re not way in love, you don’t need to pay an extravagant wedding party, receive bills for a certain car a certain person just crashed, pay for certain kid’s education, entertain a certain family with quite mind boggling sum of money.

Logically speaking, love is insanity itself. When you’re not in love, you’re not slaved by sickening flutters of butterfly and mind melting sensation. When you’re not way in love, you don’t need to handle filial problem and constant chatter of some midgets.

But hey, love is priceless. And it’s never perfect. That’s why we should just enjoy the romance.


“People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father father father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?”

Where is the Love, Black Eyed Peas.

Change for the better future. To whom those phrases are address to? Who’s heart is touched by the better angel? Diversity will always be another brick of walls people slammed into. And they slammed hard. They cannot accept the difference in the world. That people are born with different skin color, or they believe in a different god, or that they came from different schools that have bad history to one and the others.

They demand for change through force, and colossal-epic-and grotesque scene greets them. No sane person will enjoy nor accept this dictatorship. Why can’t people just keep moving forward together. Accept the fact that, yeah, those dudes over there are way different from me, and live on without bashing on each other’s skull?


“Even if the house goes down

I wouldn’t have a clue

Because you’re with me”

Thank You, Dido

A small thank you could lite up your day to the fullest. When you give people some little efforts of yours to lighten up their burden, the simple arch of their smile could swell your heart. The joy for connecting with people, and realize how much you enjoy talking with them and vice versa is a nice feeling. To know that people run to you with their bundles of problem spilling out of their hand, and you join them and help them pick the pieces of their heart made you feel special and eager for people.

With your heart on the sleeve, help people and bask yourself in their sincere thank you notes.


“(insert instrumental music here)”

Overkooled, skanfunk

The wings of a bird are essential to their identity. It’s what defined them in their Aves Kingdom. It’s what made them extremely special and made them the top notch of envy target. It’s their identity, life and freedom. They roam high in the blue sky, free of any attachment.

Talking about sky, it is that people though they see when they glance their head high up in the air. When the actual sky starts from the air moistening the earthly ground. You don’t need to look high to the infinite stairs to see the dream in the end of the stairs. You got to stare straight forward and start putting one foot to the front and keep moving forward. Our dreams are never too far away from what we’re doing. Just like the wingless bird, penguin, which slide straight on the ice glaciers.


Would like to hug all the good people (minus the good-freak ones) out there and tell them that they’ve been doing a very good job on being nice to each other ❤

Posted by: juveniliare | August 20, 2010

Il mio amore a lungo perduto

“Il mio amore a lungo perduto”

(This post is dedicated to gecchan who doesnt believe in the power of Yaoi-ism)


My long lost love in the form of old AMV.

Introducing to those bonkers enuff to open this holy blog post.

All of em from Axis Power Hetalia.


ALternative title (if thou happened to be unable to read kanji) is Fat na Kare, or literaly translated to “Fat Guy”. Contains implicit suggestion of threesome yaoi for my favorite OTP3 :3

Lion!! I almost cried at the very end. I felt betrayed by Alfred. After everything Arthur did for him. And I seriously love Kiku’s pragmatic unability to decide. Thou I love it more when he’s  woth Arthur.

Kiku is just so damn cute in this MAD.

This sounded like something from Vocaloid ❤


There used to be a bunch of Asukiku MAD in Youtube, but I guess some of them went lost in translation. If any of you happened toknow where I can find the other smexy asukiku AMV, pleasae be ever so kindly to contact me.

I’m itching for a vid by the title “Utsukushii namae”..


Posted by: juveniliare | August 7, 2010

I Love (sex). Of Music and Modern Generation

oh okok..

Before I continue on my post, this is a

T+ rate post.

Thou have been reminded.. And its about music. Not lions humping on each other, K?


Check this lyric out:

“All night, show it, just you and the crowd
Doing tricks you never seen
And I bet that I can make you believe
In love and sex and magic
So let me drive my body around you
I bet you know what I mean
Cause you know that I can make you believe
In love and sex and magic”

You guys will instanly realize that this is Justin Timberlake and Ciara’s ‘Love Sex Magic’ song. And JT’s fan can get their asses outta this blog cuz I’m not going to talk about his six pack or unshaven chin.

Old music listerner (read: those who also enjoy 90s music) like me will probably be highly distrubed with this kind of music.

When somehow love and compassion is changed with magical stroke of sex’s foreplay. I once asked a friend of mine of this change, and he did said a good point.

“Because they no longer search for love.”

Oh okok, then what?

“Sex, dum head.”

Self explanatory on my friends charater, nee? But he did make his point clear. Western people (as I refer, since I live in Asia for pete’s sake..) they no longer search for compassionate love where the hearts beats faster and your cheeks blushed like a school girl.

No, nah uh. They want something real. Unchained, controlled, no string and one night only. Just like eating Big Mac without worries of fat lumping on your butt.

Made me ponders on the “american pie” by Don McLean. Ma Dad used to stuff me with his songs when I’m just an innocent toddler. 

“A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.”

Sweet aint? I like to imagine this world Don McLean is singing is in those time where the whole family gathers just for the annual weekly lunch. Or the main family rounding up for dinner together.

“We were singing,
“bye-bye, miss american pie.”
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, “this’ll be the day that I die.
“this’ll be the day that I die.””

My dad used to refer this part as when the war agaist Vietnam took place. Robbing the good old boys from their nice and polite world to the harsh battlefield. ANd they’d drown them in rye and whiskey over the stressfull battlefield. People starts leaving the eating at tea time with their family. No more apple pie together with family and people mourning for the day after today.

It was sad. And disturbing. For when realization smashed on ones head and they’re faced with monotonous songs speewing how ones are going sexify the others, or complementary songs on one’s sexual attractiveness.

Oh no, I’m so not going to write an essay about modern sex. God please forbid me from doing it..

I missed listening to songs that have stories in it. Ballads as ‘Glee’ shall refers to. I’m currently fixing Billy Joel’s The Stangers Album in the house. Totally enjoying the song “Movin’ Out”.

Its not about love. More like people facing the next day on a shitty life.

And talking about facing the day, check this song:

“I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Holla if you feel that you’ve been down the same road”

Would you be surprise if I tell you that this is Eminem’s song?

I love how he changed. In his music. It is beautifull I’d say. MAde me wonders what actually happened to him, nee? What shook his world so much that he made such an inspiring song like this?

Check this piece by Eminem too:

“And if you ask me too

Daddy’s gonna buy you a mockingbird

I’mma give you the world
I’mma buy a diamond ring for you
I’mma sing for you
I’ll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don’t sing and that ring don’t shine
I’mma break that birdies neck
I’d go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat don’t fuck with dad (haha) “

For me, it spelled of dissapointment one will feel against their self. In this case, dissapointment as a failed daddy. Which is highly possible. Once I saw MTV and a running news states that Eminem never open the internet for fear of the comments of him. No wonders why.

Just imagine how many people shall spew bad things about him? Albeit never knowing him?


The post is slowly diverting from the love sex theme I’m trying to put up here..

So, what happened with generation nowadays? Dont slave your self on lyrics of solely trying to attract the opposite gender. Its highly disturbing and very much uncreative.

Singer like Chrisye (an Indonesian singer I adore) once expressed his dislike on singin like a hormonal teenager. Which I respect very much. He’s cool, downright cool that I have his songs jammed in the Ipod.

I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. Albeit the many typos and grammar error.

Posted by: juveniliare | April 23, 2010

When Prejudice Stands Tall


When Prejudice Stands Tall


In which the author metaphor her life into the extreme.


The first thing that crossed her mind when he got to the bathroom and vomit was, ‘Yep, back with the alcoholic attitude…’

What does that mean? When prejudice stands tall among the other adjectives?


The party shall blame Tommy Heavenly6 band and their revolving song. Not that I actually understand what they were yelling on, besides like what some usually believe, ‘It’s not about what you say, but it’s what people perceive.’ In whatever way thou shall interpret it.

So, when ‘that man’ rush his belly and vomit to his desire in the bathroom, the party shall rise and make case against alcoholic and absurd way on to exploit it to the world.

But it also came across the mind that maybe he was vomiting from too many sleeps. Or from eating too many crabs. Or bashing a rat he found in the garage till death? Not that there’s any evidence to back up the theory. But hey, we still can’t prove the truth on the alcohol reason, rite?

Then back to stage one. And asking thy self for the sudden premonition of prejudice.

Wow, never knew you’re those bigotry type, baby.

Shaddap.. I have my own reason to defense myself.

And the reason is…? ~~~¯

Eliciting the buried memories on the back of the head, and it will kick us to those memories when you just can’t help the feeling to crush that man to smithereens and buried him six feet under.




And all those emotion the profiling group is too familiar with. Criminal minds, can’t stop the addiction…

Point is… There’s no point in debating it.

The case goes down of the hill with a cart full of hatred and contempt. No one can deny what these feeling may brought us to. No one can deny how hurtful these feeling are. And no sane person can deny what they might bring us to.

Once somebody wronged you to the point of no return, you just can’t keep on moving forward without being lagged down with those dire emotions. Your legs felt heavy, and your chest heaving up and down for some sort of an unknown pain. The winding roads felt pressuring and frustrating, and you can’t help felt being consumed by the gravy path ahead of you. Not when the roads behind you are still glowing with unresolved events.

And who to blame? Why by that certain abomination human, of course.

You lost all the certainty and hope and wishes. And you cast them away, far far away that even your heart could not reach. And then you build up those assumption and presumption. That that man is a no good. A real life gold digger and a waste of oxygen. And all those nine sins the god forbid will flow like a water from a tap.


Corresponding on his defense, he’ll say that people change. And maybe Hitler is not that bad of a person. Especially not when he’s sticking a burning iron rod on a certain race.

Against his defense I’ll say that people do change. Either to be a better one or a worst one. Which changes did you undergo? And for your information, Hitler is a bad person. Try saying that he’s good in front of the said race he has been poking on. They might agree with you. Might.

Cry all you want and that man will not move an inch of his muscle to help you.


In which the author metaphor her life into the extreme.

Which meant that this doesn’t meant for you to understand.

It’s just me ranting over my just borrowed book…

Dang… Just cuz I’m being striked down by my muse god doesnt always mean I’m literally depressed, or emotionally deprived…. *RAWR*

Posted by: juveniliare | March 18, 2010

Baby, Baby I Love You cuz you rox my World

Just being random…


I’m Falling Down Into My Shadow
and hold my breath because what’s waiting is a Deadly Night.
Don’t scary, the witch just drew a pumpkin carriage and
is only reflected in your eyes.

See you in your dreams. Yeah Baby,
Even if they are nightmares.

Fairy Blue, for you, I shatter the stars
and use them to adorn the Black Paper Moon.
Because you believed in me, when you’re lost, here I am
Forever with your soul.
If I look up, you shine like the moon.

The sweet Crimson Jam
that fell in the card raised the spell.
Your Destiny, if you wish for it, no matter the world,
you can grasp it with those hands.

Don’t be confused,
don’t let anyone shatter it.

Encryption of Tommy Heavenly6, Papermoon. FYI, its a Japanese band which meant that this song is sung in Nihongo-language :p

Being addicted to foreign song is obviously not something new. Being addicted to a Japanese song when you’re an otaku is absolutely normal. But pledging thy self to a certain song when you have no idea the s*it the said band are singing is…. also in the boundaries of normality.

Take your everyday buddy otaku for example, or take me if by any chance you don’t have those kind of guys hanging around you.

Hands down, I love Tommy Heavenly6 band. And the song above, Papermoon is one of my most listened gigs that they play. It’s cool. It rocks. It have this noir sense. And it help me boast my brain cell on drawing ‘things’. But do I know what the song is about? Absolutely nope. I just found out what it mean like three seconds ago.

I love the song Lucky sung by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. It inspire me on writing my very first fluff fanfiction that currently gained the most reviewer out of the other 12 fanfic I made. Do I understand the song? I can quite proudly say I do.

This is probably the stereotype case everybody face around the musical world. We like without knowing what it meant. It could be dangerous. But do people care? Well hell no, cuz things will go down to self entertainment, and being entertained doesn’t really need a logical reason backing you up, rite?

But ain’t it sad? And utterly despicable? Things went like when you like the Harry Potter book without being able to mention one spell dear ol’ potter ever utter. It’s somehow degrading in some areas, imagine if we stand beside those who are really into the said material of worship with knowing and claiming ourself to be the number one fan of all? It’ll be an utmost disaster where you’ll continue your life with paper bag covering your face every where you go.

But like what I’ve stated before, there’s no need to be downright logic and such a pain in the arse to be entertained. Just go on with the current flow and take things you like into your hand and gobble it up.


Gawd… Randomness is contagious and dangerous….. D:

Posted by: juveniliare | February 14, 2010


This could also be found in my account.




Author : Juveniliare –JujuMoismois-

Fandom: Bleach

Word Count: 3656 (WOOT! My longest one shot ever!)

Sumarry: He knows of her. Of course. And he knows she didn’t even have a vague idea on his existence, of course. The lilac eyed girl faced him with her innocent eyes, fifteen years ago the ten years old Ichigo blushed hard. AU

A/N’s: Yay!! Another fic made by Juju! Either you guys will start voodoo-ing me for not updating Estrange and Vanilla Sky or you guys will read this fic. Sooo, obviously this is another attempt of me writing a serious and kinda dark fic, constructive critic will be much appreciates. This will be a two shot, with the second part to be uploaded on White’s day :D. Which means this fic as Valentine gift from me to those who read it. Happy reading!

Wish upon a star

The last she saw of him was of his shadow vanishing into the darkness. It was when she woke up in the cold midnight in a bed too big for one. And he was there, in a process wearing his white crumpled shirt and rubbing the probably nonexistence itch on his head scalp. She knows him that much to recognize that habit as agony. Whenever he ruffled his bright orange hair, it means trouble is ahead of them.

He stood up, and walks out from the room and vanished without a single word.

He left her, staring at the closed white door with her misty lilac eyes without him knowing that she was awake after all (or did he? She never really knows).

He left her, who soon let the gravity took the best of her and let her back contacted the soft bed with a small thud. With her gauzed lilac eyes, she stared the plain white ceiling.

He left her, in a bed too big for one, with a bruise on her lips and his mark on her neck. Taunting red, as if mocking.

She was alone, naked under the maroon red covers and sprawled in a disordered manner. Spills of pearl made its way from her orbs and trailed her cheeks. Soiling the pillow with salty liquid she recognized as her tears. Her muffled sobs reverberated through the white walls.

Her eyes burns and her heart aches. She felt like dying. And a part of her did.

Rain, rain. Go away, come another day~

Fifteen Years Ago

He knows of her. Of course.

And he knows she didn’t even have a vague idea on his existence, of course.

Who wouldn’t know Rukia of the Kuchiki family? The adoptive sister of the Byakuya Kuchiki who was rumored to be the next in line for the Kuchiki throne?

Ichigo sighed loudly as he watches his father greets the Kuchiki siblings on the door step of his house. The frown on his face deepened. They were accompanied by an old man with gray hair he recognizes as the current head of the Kuchiki family. They were here to probably talk about the upcoming business meeting with his father.

The boy with bright hair checked on his rooms for any signs of his twin sister and his mother before he leaned further on the window sill. He knows he’s not allowed too, since his mother always worried on how his sisters will follow on their brother and fall from the window. Ichigo Kurosaki loves his mother. And of course his sisters too. They are his lovable ones which he promised to his self, his father, and simply to put to everyone that he will protect for the rest of his life.

But not this time, Ichigo’s bright amber eyes were locked to a certain black headed girl. He knows her, and he also knows she doesn’t know him.

Kuchiki Rukia

The name tasted weird and foreign yet familiar on his ten years old tongue. The way his lips pursed and his tongue purred heavily on the first part of her name and the soft sighing alike on the next part.


The name was not like the ones his friends at school have. It was unique and new to his ten years old tongue.

The ten years old boy sighed in content.

A sudden wind and Ichigo was awaken from his reverie, the wind that signals the coming of the autumn wind has started blowing from the north. And the maple leaves on his mansion garden has started changing color into a soft brown. Once the first red leaf touches the ground, autumn will truly began.

A low squeal was heard from below.

“AH! Please come in Rukia-chan! I wouldn’t want you to catch cold in this windy weather!”

Isshin’s shrill voice reverberated in Ichigo’s ear drum, that man has a very unique way to send shiver down ones spine. The boy then took notice of the little girl his father referring too, her hair was in a mess caused by the gust of wind earlier. She looked troubled rearranging her hair back, and that was when Ichigo realize the lilac orb on her pale small face.

It was…. Beautiful.

She seemed to realize him, since she suddenly stopped combing her hair and just stared innocently to his eyes. Voices of his father ushering the girl to come in and the sound of wind gust was dimmed into nothingness.

For the first time of his ten years old life, Kurosaki Ichigo blushed.

The dyed red forest, where we used to play

Fourteen years, ten month and three days ago

Yuzu whimpered slightly and Rukia slide her hand and rubs her back. Cooing softly she press her fingers to the blonde girl’s lip and smiled. The girl smiled back and approached Rukia closer. The black haired girl then shifted her legs to a better position; they were hiding behind a maple tree with Yuzu clutching her soiled red sweater. It was actually Ichigo’s since her own sweater was drenched during her play with him on the kitchen. They were trying to help the maids washing the dishes. But ends up spoiling water to each other and smearing bubbles to one and the others face.

Her hair felt rough and her head itchy. Pouting slightly, Rukia swore she’ll find an itchy powder to slip on Ichigo’s pajama one day.

She has known him for roughly two months, and they have been best friends. Rukia silently thanks her lucky star for the meeting that will be uphold, and the cooperation of her family and Ichigo’s. Because of this partnership she was able to visit the Kurosaki residence for a quite number of times. And with the permission of her ‘brother’ oh… he has set all hell loose.

Whenever they met, they had lots and lots of fun. From chasing frogs in his mansion’s pond, sleeping over, cooking pancakes with the maids, and even harassing and making fun of Ichigo’s father!

And Rukia Kuchiki enjoyed it to the very core.

Yuzu suddenly fidgeted under Rukia’s grasp and she sensed the danger ahead.

“FOUND THEM!!! Ichi-niiiii!!!!”

Karin’s piercing voice was everywhere in the large Kurosaki garden. Rukia immediately grab the girl’s wrist and blocked her mouth with her palms. Karin fiddled violently even with Yuzu helping Rukia containing her hands. They continue on attempting to silence the short haired girl until….

“Found you……!”

The next thing Rukia know was the slimy feeling of something on her shoulder. It’s wet. It’s green. And it croaked.

So, what?

The black haired girl smiled victoriously, she let go her hold and spun around while grabbing the poor frog from Ichigo’s hand and throws it to his face. The boy scream, and boy did he scream loud!

“Too bad Ichigo. You think a little frog like that can scare me?”

She posed proudly with her hands placed on her lips.

“I was trying to make it kiss you. Maybe then it will turns into a charming prince..!”

The orange haired boy spat. His frown deepened into a sharp ‘V’ shape. He was lying on the ground with a messy clothes and muddy shorts. And a green frog nestling comfortably between his blazing orange locks.

Voices of laughter and Ichigo’s frantic words of denial were heard on the air.

A red leaf swayed by the wind, and landed on the green grass. Autumn has truly come.

Spread your wings. Fly high…

Seven years ago

“I’ll miss you Ichigo.”

“Yeah, yeah midget. Just get going already.”

THAWCK! A straight kick to his shin. The bluish bruise will serve as a reminder of her for a few days.


Ichigo was sent clutching his aching shin as his mouth conjures profanities of the she-devil in front of him.

“Suck it up berry boy. Make sure you send a letter to me every day.” Still with him ducking, he raised his face and saw the sadden look on the female ahead of him. Oh…

“Hey… I won’t be that long. A few years in America and I’ll be back to Japan.”

She was fidgeting the laces on her dress; she was obviously trying to suppress her tears, which he knew perfectly as her habit whenever she was sad. The next thing Ichigo knew was the sudden punch maiming his chin.


“I’ll be waiting then.”

Her voice did not quiver one bit. And Ichigo was left gaping at her big lilac orbs. It shines of hope, trust, and he dare say, love…

One day. I’ll tell her.

Without warning, Ichigo drop the duffel bag on his shoulder and snaked his arm around Rukia’s tiny waist. She did not flinch one bit, but instead returning the hug while stroking his spiky orange hair. Once upon ago when they were small, she was slightly taller than him. And she made it her habit to ruffle his bright hair. It all seemed so far away now.

“Love you midget.”

“Love you too Carrot top.”

Tightening his grip, Ichigo swear he’ll say those words again, one day….

Spilled ink

Six years eleven month and twenty five days ago

‘Hi, Rukia.’

Scratch that.

‘Hello Rukia’


‘Hi Honey.’

For a certain reason, his ear turns red. Absolutely fucking no.



The orange haired boy stared long at the piece of paper in front of him. He smirked and continued writing.

The day ends with his fingers clothed with dark ink and a smear of ink across his nose.

Letter opener

Six years eleven month and five days ago

Byakuya nearly had a heart attack when he saw his sister running with a kitchen knife in her hand. But of course he didn’t show it.

He treaded silently on the corridor leading to his sister’s room. The room that was once used by his wife.

A sound of paper ripped by force was soon heard, and a hurried shuffle of paper followed. It then went all silent for a good ten minutes before he heard Rukia sighed.

What happened? Byakuya is the least worried, but of course he didn’t show it one bit.

He heard a soft thud that he guessed comes from the contact of her feet with the carpet in her room. A screeching sound as she pulled her chair and the soft plop as she sits down.

“Yo, to you too.”

He smiled. But of course he didn’t show it.

Lost and not found (yet)

Five years three months and twenty days ago

Sure there were emails. But letters always proved to be more romantic. In which reason he insisted communicating with her through letter. And so came the day he did not receive the letter he have waited for. Oh the agony…

The letter he not so secretly awaited has been a week late. And the Rukia Kuchiki he knew never missed one single day. Oh the agony…

The possibility of her forgetting him was… absurd. OR not? Ichigo mused. He side glance at the photo on his walls. A picture of her smiling with maple three in the background he believed was the one in his house. A photo of her wearing a green bikini and what he like to believe as strawberry ice cream on her hand. Her picture hugging a golden retriever dog she named Kon (a post script later explains that the dog actually belongs to her friend. In which she took the privilege to name the dog, or force-naming, to be accurate…). An image of her on her first concerto for piano, in which she became the concert mistress. She looked extremely adorable in her black dress. He wouldn’t be surprise to found a fans club dedicated for her. Since she already have as far as he knew.

The Rukia now is a talented pianist who has too many recitals, shows, concert he could ever count.

Ichigo smiled, for Rukia Kuchiki have turn into a beautiful lady. He could see her pale face and the soft contour of her face. Her small fingers and her milky white skin. The slight dip of her waist and her humble breast.


Groaning, Ichigo felt like having a cold shower in the middle of the day. Cold freezing shower. Walking to the door, he suddenly spotted an appendix of white envelope snuggling comfortably by itself under his blue carpet. Breath hitched, he rushed for the envelope and without seeing the address of the sender he tore the lid and greedily read the letter. He only stopped by the end of the letter, where Rukia’s signature and what could be a picture of a black haired bunny holding a heart was there.

It was later when he found a photo enclosed of her. She was wearing a dangerously low black dress clutching a red rose with a piano behind her, flashes of blitz was everywhere around her. He could see the soft skin above her breast and the single sweat on her neck


Current to priority: Cold freezing shower.


Four years ago

The sound of china porcelain cup contacted with its plate reverberated through the whole room. Rukia fixed her stare at her spoon’s motion and the white twirl of milk on her tea. She could feel the boring eyes of her brother upon her. And she did not feel comfortable by the least of it. She glanced at the scenery outside; green foliage has started to turns into shades of light brown and red. Autumn is coming.

She took a small sip before placing the china at its respectful place. And waited for her brother to begin the meeting he personally asked for.

“Congratulation on your concert. The front page of papers in is all about you and the concert last night.”

Curt and polite, years passed by and as far as she know, her brother never changes. Curt and polite.

“Thank you brother. A concert for piano will be held by the end of this month, I certainly hope to be able to bring the same result.”

Her concert group has gain name and the hearts of many people. In which she’s truly grateful for.

“And now, I have something at most priority that I need you to know.”

Rukia stiffened on her chair.

“I’m sure you are familiar with the name Ashido Kano”

To the name, Yes. At the own person, No.

“You are to be engage with him.”

Silent filled the room. If Byakuya took notice of how Rukia’s eyes widened and the slight tremor on her hands, he took no notice of it.

“I…. I, Brother?”

“To enhance the feasibility relationship with the Kano family, the elders have decided to uphold a marriage of you and this man.”

“The elders…?”

Rukia tried her best not to stutter, under normal situation she’ll mentally patted her back and clap in proudness. Talking with Byakuya was something she never truly enjoyed. Holding conversation with the elders, have always been a big no no for her. Even talking about the elders have dealt a personal mind blow to her. Talking with Byakuya about the elders decision is the utmost combo she have ever dealt with.

“Yes, the elders.”

In which he said it with slight abhorrence. In the short span of moment, Rukia Kuchiki understood her and her brother’s position under the elders scrutinizing eyes that was always on them. Ever since the day she was adopted into the family on a very long time ago. In that short span of moment, she understood her brother.

We are bind to the family.

That night, Rukia Kuchiki cried for the first time after three years. On the day he spread his wings away from her.


Three years eleven month thirty days ago

She contemplated the possibility of talking with him through the international call. She haven’t slept ever since her brother conveyed her the message. And she needs to talk. An output of the sudden frustration. Ichigo gave her his cell number a few years ago. He finally realized that communicating through letters are not the most efficient ways. And with Isshin’s utmost help, Ichigo finally bought his self a cell phone.

Rukia draw her cell phone near her ear.

Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo…

“Hi this is Orihime Inoue heheee…. Ichigo is not heeereeee. Heee’ss TOTALLY knocked off!! You should see him on the baar last night.. heheheeee. He’s hottt you know…… Heiii Ichigo! There’s somebody on your phoneee. Put your shirts on would you….”




And that was how her Chappy cell phone strap meets its end as it collided with the mirror by sheer force. The rabbit tinkle eyed her and her eyes burns.

She cried.

Hei, Hi, Hello. How are you?

Three years ago

He stopped receiving letters from her. He also stopped receiving miscellaneous texts from her.

And the articles about her suddenly decreased. They just suddenly disappear. As if she just disappear.

Ichigo is worried. He’s worried of her.

Of Rukia.


Two years ago

‘If we were to expect the Rukia Kuchiki’s light and lively music, we are to be stunned with her performance last night. Her music have obviously undergo an extreme change, she almost seemed detached to the earthly grounds, black wings that seemed to suffocate the room was heavy under her touch on The Four Seasons, a set of four concerti grossi by Italian composer Antonio Vivaldi…..’

A ruffle of paper as Byakuya lightly pushed the Sunday newspaper over his table. It now lay on the floor.

She changed.

And Byakuya was concerned.


One year ago

“…. How is Rukia anyway?”

His brother’s voice seemed strained; Karin tightened her grip to the cell phone. The news of her engagement have finally reach the Kurosaki Residence a few weeks ago. Later explanation conclude that the betrothal was in motion since two years ago. Which explained the dropped frequency of Rukia visiting the Kurosaki’s.

“She’s fine… Just busy with her concert and all, you know..”

Beneath all the tomboy façade, Karin is also a girl. And she just didn’t have the heart to break the news to his brother.

Who are you?

Five months ago

Ichigo was greeted with Yuzu’s shrill voice and his father’s hug. Karin was tapping her sneakers on the floor mumbling profanities on how immature her family is. The air in Tokyo’s airport was cool and humid. It felt nice on his lungs and he feel like couldn’t stop breathing it. The airport was filled with people, but he couldn’t stop searching for a certain person. A certain woman. A certain Rukia. Thousand question swarms in his mind. What happened to her? Why did she stop sending letters to him? Was she mad at him? For the past two years, Ichigo have tried his best to find the truth. But even his family is not cooperating well with him. There was something. Something really wrong..

“She’s not here.”

Karin obviously has matured a lot. Ahead of them Isshin was dragging Yuzu to the nearest Hagen-Dagz ice cream stall. They were debating whether to buy a Frappuccino ice cream or a plain Sarsaparilla.

“Who’s not here Karin?”

Karin snickered. She tighten her pony tails elastic bands and eyed him.

“Just kidding, there..”

Karin motioned her chin to a certain spot, in which stand Rukia. Beautiful Rukia wearing a knee length black skirt and red blouse. Rukia smiling at him warily while fidgeting her left hand’s finger. Rukia… just Rukia.

Ichigo stepped forward, the event that took place six years ago, and the oath he once speak on this same ground to his self was back. I’m telling her.


Suddenly a hand was on her shoulder, Ichigo squinted his eyes, he trails it up with shocked face until his eyes finally settled on an unfamiliar face. A male with blazing red hair was making his self-comfortable with Rukia. His RUKIA!

Rukia flinched violently under his touch; the motion goes not unnoticed by the both male. Ichigo was staring at her with horrified stare, and the unknown man with questioning gaze.

“Ichigo… It’s nice to finally meet you again.”

Her voice was curt, short and quivered slightly on his name. Ichigo’s frown deepened .Who is she? Who is he? Who are they?! What are they?

“Ichigo I want you to meet Ashido Kano.”

Rukia motioned her hands to the man.

“He’s my fiancée.”


Two months ago

He was furious. To Rukia Kuchiki, who just suddenly went up and go and get hitched with an unknown red hair man he barely knew.

He was furious with Karin and Yuzu and his Pops for not telling her when there was a billion of chance for them to at least tell him.

Damn, he’s mad at Rukia for not telling him.

He’s mad at Byakuya for setting the marriage.

He’s mad at Rukia for agreeing it.

He’s mad at the Kuchiki’s elder who bind the two of them into set.

But most, he was furious to his self. He could still vividly see the bruise on her wrist. Even over her attempt of hiding it with long sleeved blouse. A bruise that shape fit perfectly with his grip.

I’m scared

four hours ago

She finally confessed.

I love you Ichigo.’

Under the dimmed light, Ichigo’s hand finds its way to hers and pulled her to his arms. He felt his front shirt drenched that instant, and tightening his hold on her.


Soon clothes were discarded on the floor, and not long before their joined limbs rocking together gently.

He was stunned to find her new to this. And she was surprised when he confessed this as his first time.

The night ends with him on her, clutching her midnight raven hair while breathing rather harshly on her ears.

He didn’t say anything comforting, and she didn’t say anything either.

What of them? What will they become…?


Ichigo lean on his back heavily to the door he just closed. He could hear the muffled sobs behind the piece of wood.

Do you love her?

Ashido’s question from the day before echoed in his mind.

I don’t know.

Was his answer.

I don’t know anymore.


Finally over… This monster fic exceed my target of 3000 words. So some short explanation here….

Ichigo and Rukia have been friends for fifteen years, his dad and her family was business partner. They were ten at that time, eight years later Ichi berry boy went to Japan to study for college and left Rukia in Japan. Letters, letters opener, and stuffs happened, and it was all so okay until Rukia’s engagement with Ashido. In which she tried to call Ichigo only to have Orihime answering it and said “He’s hawtt!… Ichigo put on your shirt first..!” obviously Rukia took it the wrong way and had a major break down until she stopped playing piano for a while. Ichigo was obvious with the news and her calls. And his family was not helping either. About three years later Ichigo return to Japan to find her already engage with Ashido (don’t ask me why Ashido, his name just popped in my brain during brain storm, better than Hanatarou right?). Then the usual trivial yadda yaddaa happened between them. Denials, anger, jealousy, resentment, questioning.. Until one day Rukia just couldn’t hold it anymore and confessed to Ichigo….

Yayness!! I know there’s sooo much unanswered and cliffy things in this fic, but this is it. And as per usual, forgive me for my grammar mistakes D:

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